A Writing Challenge- from Karen

I’ve accepted a challenge from Karen at Karensdifferentcorners and it came at a perfect time for me. I needed a push to make my fingers and mind work together again. The challenge is to write a short story or scene as Dialog only, Description only and A combination of both. It’s a very interesting way to practice different disciplines.

Forgive me if I’m a bit rusty, but this practice has made me smile. Please enjoy and comment—good or bad, lol.  Thank you, Karen- what a great exercise!

If I have to pick a title for this scene—Afternoon Delight

Sirilak

Image from freestock at Dreamstime

Dialog:

 

 

“Sirilak, why do you work so hard?”

“Soon the dry season will be here and the baby will come in a month. We must have enough food for our family, Anan. Don’t worry, I rest often.”

“You must let me help. I’ve finished the new room for our first born.”

“You are such a good husband. My life would be so hard without you.”

“Ha. Is this what you call an easy life? It is I who is lucky to be the husband of such a beautiful woman. You will be the best mother to our son.”

“You are so sure our child will be a boy. I think a girl would be auspicious and there will be more children. You are energetic in your work.”

“Hush woman. What if our neighbors hear you speak so openly about our private life.”

“The women would be jealous and the men might try harder to please their wives. But I will keep my voice low because I don’t want one of the ladies to try and find out for themselves.”

“I’m hungry. It’s time to do your other wifely duties!”

“That was the best fish soup I’ve ever had and you… I enjoy the way you look while you carry our child.”

“Stop that, Anan. When you touch me so I forget that I look like an elephant and it is hours before dark. I don’t want you to see the fat woman I am now.”

“Sirilak, you’re not fat. You are the essence of beauty. Perhaps a special dessert will put me in the mood to help you in the garden. After all the sun is too hot for you to do any hard work now.”

“My love. I will help you prepare the dessert.”

Description:

Anan stood in the shade of a tamarind tree watching Sirilak, his wife, working in the garden. Her tiny body had grown so big with the coming of their first child he worried that she might do them both harm working in the burning sun. He knew his words must be gentle as he looked on, filled with the love for his woman. She worried about the coming dry season and the extra mouth that would have to be fed.

They had only a small plot of land but every centimeter was used to their benefit. He still watched in wonder at how the most beautiful girl of their village had picked him for her husband.

Anan walked out in the field and began to work alongside Sirilak and nudged her a bit just to have her look at him. He loved looking in her dark depthless eyes that shown so bright when they turn to him.   She smiled as he rubbed his stomach, indicating his hunger.

Sirilak’s laughter filled him with joy. She rose and pulled him to his feet and then propelled him toward the house. She looked with pride at the new room that he had just finished. Her choice of Anan as her husband was helped by her grandmother. Love had blossomed from the very first day and she said her special prayer of thanks for selecting the perfect man.

He reached out to rub her heavy belly and bent to kiss her, but she pushed him away and then looked around to be sure the neighbors had not been watching. He reached for her again, but she slapped his hand and held up a finger as she waddled faster to the house.

Sirilak watched him eat as if there would be no more food for the evening meal and laughed.

Anan felt his heart flutter at the thrill of her laughter and reached out for her. This time she came willingly and purred at his touch.

There would be a special dessert as she pulled him toward their sleep area.

Dialog and description:

The sun’s rays shimmered off the ground as Anan watched his wife from the shadows of a nearby tamarind tree. He walked out in the field and said, “Sirilak. You shouldn’t be out in this sun. You must think of our child growing within you.”

“It is our child that I am thinking of. We must be ready for the dry season. I feel fine and you’ve been working so hard on the new room. You can’t do all the work! What kind of wife would I be to sit while there is work to be done?” She sat back, wiping the sweat from her brow and gazed up at the man she loved. He was so strong and fit, but even in her condition she wouldn’t allow him to coddle her. It wasn’t her way or the way of the village.

Anan lifted her to her feet and placed a loving hand on her swollen belly and tried to sneak a kiss, but she pushed him away with a laugh. “Are you worried about what the neighbors might say? I will tell them I am kissing my son through my wife.”

“Always so sure our little one will be a boy. I would think a girl will bring good fortune to our house… besides, with all your attention our family will be large.” The look on his face caused her to laugh and hug his arm. “Not that I’m complaining, my love. You fill me with love when you touch me.”

“I have married a wanton woman,” he said with a smile that stretched across his face. “I need my wife to feed her man so he will have the energy to try and satisfy her needs.” He gave her a nudge towards the house and then reached for her again but only caught the sweet tinkle of her laughter.

Anan settle back in his chair with a full belly and as he always did when he turned his eyes on Sirilak he gave thanks for his luck and her love. As she moved to clear the table he reached out and pulled her to his lap. She did not resist and purred as he hand rubbed her swollen belly and kissed her neck. He knew just the spot that would make her want more.

She stood and pulled him to his feet, pressing her body to him. “I think a special dessert shall be your reward for loving me, husband.”

The end.

 I hope you enjoyed these different styles. It’s good practice for any writer to stay within a discipline to see where one may need some additional practice.

I’m supposed to pick three more people to continue this contest, but what I’ve decided is: If anyone wishes to join in, please do. I really would enjoy seeing what other writers come up with. Try to go outside your normal style. Since I’m a genre hopper it didn’t work well for me.

Post your writing at your web site and then post the link in the comments on this post and at Karen’s site. I look forward to some good reading.

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15 responses to “A Writing Challenge- from Karen

    • Thank you, Karen– I really mean that. I did need to put my mind to use and your little pushed helped. I’ve written with very little dialog and with much more dialog than discription. I think it has to do with how much you want the reader to imagine.

  1. Nice job! I think I liked the pure description best. It somehow suited the scene, not to have any speech.

    I do think that they were having dessert after the meal, though, rather than desert 😉 Though I dearly love the desert in our American Southwest, and a visit there could get me in the mood. . .

  2. Okay – now you have to write more about these two. What a sweet story. The combination is so lovely and has the same flavor as the book I so love of yours, Search for a Soul. You are so open to trying new things in writing!

    • Kathy, my dear. It’s so good to hear from you! Your review of In Sarch of a Soul is one I read over and over. You never know. I may expand this story. They are such a nice couple. I was thinking of Thailand when I wrote it.

  3. Dannie, you write very sweet dialogue, and I ‘m a huge fan of dialogue in stories, but too much can be tiresome for the reader (like watching a tennis match when the players just volley back and forth.)

    I think dialogue and description is always best, with added beats to help break it up. Your final piece is wonderful.

    xox
    eden

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